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Major disclaimer:
You know when sometimes someone wants to talk to you and they try to tell you things in such a way that you would never be able to figure out what they’re talking about, cause they don’t intend it for your understanding? Like when they try to describe things which they don’t want you to fully understand so whatever they say becomes so damn abstract you swear that it would give even Einstein a hard time, but in the end they finish by thanking you and you’re left with the feeling of wanting to strangle them for choosing you to talk to?

I’m gonna do that to you today.

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Compared to Einstein, I’m more stupid. I admit that.

You have no need to make sense of what I’m about to write because what I write today is not for your understanding but for your reading enjoyment. But if you insist in knowing the true issue, you can email me for further questions. I have to say I can only entertain a certain number of enquiries, so you’d have to ask yourself these questions before you contact me:

1) Are you a girl?

2) Are you hot?

3) Do you think I’m hot?

4) Is there a tiniest weeniest bit of a chance that further contact with you would result in us making out?

If the answer is ‘NO‘ to ANY of the questions above, contacting me further would be out of the question.

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This doesn’t count as a girl, or hot for that matter. Pls, no arguments here, ok.

End of Disclaimer.

Assuming you understand what the hell I was saying in the disclaimer, I’d like to thank you for still reading.

Here goes:

F*cking up is essential, given the right thereafter contemplation in making things good for the future. The right kind of f*ck up make you stare at yourself and realise being a f*ck up and admitting it can mean doing good in the future. Sometimes you have to be sorry for your f*ck ups, and do good in f*cking yourself so you realise  you still have a chance to do good to the right person. No f*ck up is caused by one single person. That’s the beauty of it. And by the time you realise this fact, you’re already so confused that if someone hand you ‘the most f*ck up person of the world’ award, you’d gladly take it. I guess the trick is stop blaming yourself or anyone else cause you know what happened, and you didn’t or are too stupid to do something about it earlier.

That’s all I’ve got for you today.

Oh ya, thanks. Can’t live without thanking you.

I’m on sick leave today.

I get to stay home, watch tv, sleep, eat, watch more tv and sleep again.

You jokers are out there working your ass off. You guys are sad. Do you have any idea how many good shows are on tv at this hour?

Think about it. The only work I’ll be doing today is to sit on my comfy sofa and click away, well, and occasionally moving my ass over to the loo to pee, while you guys are sweating all over trying to close that sale, finish typing that report, having meeting with your boss, etc.

Ahahahahaha………Yea, life’s not fair.

By the way, I need to do this. Happy thoughts boost my immune system.

If you wanna enjoy what I’m enjoying now, try eating a giant oyster about the size of your normal plate, then start throwing up air cause what’s stuffed inside your stomach just won’t come out.

Ahh….. the joy of food poisoning.

And what is that drink you can take to help you vomit when you can’t? I tried Milo but it doesn’t work, and the person who taught me and made me one the last time is somewhere in pluto or something cause I can’t reach her.

Side note: a friend commented he didn’t finish reading my last blog post cause it has too many words and he fell asleep halfway through.

Halo?!

Being inntellectual does not bring you rewards nowadays.

I just finished reading a book titled ‘The Wisdom of Crowds’
by James Surowiecki. A fascinating book. It details the phenomenon where large
group of people always make smarter decisions collectively than the brightest
individual in the group, with some conditions in place, one of them being that
the group is a mixture of bright, not so bright, and also really dumb people,
like you. Hahaha……..!!!Wahahaha…….!

 

I’m sorry. Kidding, kidding, ok. Just that you’ve not been here at my blog for
so long (cause I’ve not updated it, haha…), just messing with you a bit, you
know, a little bonding. No?

Not funny? Whatever.

What this means is that, if some inherent conditions apply, groupthink always
outsmart the decisions of individual experts. Yes, polling the results of a
group always outperform the opinion of some of the most well educated and
informed experts on any particular topics, consistently. Only very few
percentage of individuals are able to make better decisions than when the
general public (which includes the whole spectrum of intelligence) decides to
poll their wisdom.

Well, let’s take the example of the financial market. For those who have
invested in mutual funds before, we know that the majority of mutual funds
underperform market indexes. This is because mutual funds are managed by fund
managers, a small group of people who are supposed to be expert in investing,
but these few individuals, with all their knowledge and experience still make
us lose our hard earned, like what we Chinese like to say, blood sweat money.
Damn those fags. Of course there are a very selected few in the world of
investment who constantly beat the market average, one of them being the
ultimate guru of investing, Warren Buffet, the second richest man in the world,
but there are not many.

Some commented this is a counter intuitive model. Yea, I believe it is. Ever
since that ‘Men in Black’ movie, where, if you remember, Tommy Lee Jones
explained to Will Smith why the existence of aliens are not made public, he
said: ‘An individual is intelligent, calm, blah blah..and some shit I don’t
remember. Mainly good shit. But people, as in a group, a country, is chaotic,
panicky and so would not take the knowledge of existence of aliens well. It
would only cause mass hysteria. That has been my model of the world ever since.
Until I read the book, that is.

Why am I telling you all this? I’m not trying to do a book review here
actually, although it may seem to be. I’m writing this post after, once again,
I’m astounded by the display of lack of cognitive abilities among even some of
the smartest people by doing something every other moron is doing, and I’m
sorry if you happen to be one of them.

What triggered this is when I saw a message on my friendster Bulletin board
titled ‘I’m deleting you from my friendster list’. It reminded me of the
numerous emails and sms I received with somewhat the same kind of title, but
more potent threats incorporated into it. The one in my bulletin board is
really quite harmless and different from the ones I’m condemning (So don’t be
angry ya, Marilyn!).

I’m sure you’ve encountered them also. See if you remember any emails or sms
that ends with anything that sounds like these:

‘You must forward this mail to at least 15 billion people or so in the next gazillion
of a millionth second or else your love life would suffer for eternity,
meaning, you’ll end up marrying someone from ‘Buy a Russian Bride’ programme
and find out she’s a transvestite on your wedding night.’

‘You have been tagged by the good luck deity. You must forward this sms to all
your friends, your enemies, and the people you don’t even know but for some bizarre
reason, you have their phone number, or else all hairs on your head would fall
off and hair will grow on your buttocks as thick as the Amazon forest.’

‘Hotmail is shutting down. Please forward this message to as many people as
possible because we at Hotmail are too lazy to do anything more than lifting
our fingers or ordering pizza for lunch. Failing to do so, we would assume your
email account is inactive and your existence in the online world insignificant,
and that you’re impotent, and would delete and bar you from using our services
ever again for your entire lifetime, and your next life, and the next
one…and…well, you get the drift.’

The amazing thing is after all efforts by some of us, the smart ones, to inform
those who feel intimidated by these messages that these are hoax and is
probably written by losers as a viral marketing bid to get some messages
across, we still see it in our mailbox and sms from time to time. I still do. I
bet you do too.

I can’t believe it when even Youtube is infected by this virus. In the comments
section, I found this:

‘DONT READ THIS!
In 1932 A Girl was Raped And She Said Hei Do Laki Before She DIed. IF You Dont
Repost This In 5 Topics She Will Appear By Your Bed With Glowing Red Eyes And
Stare At You Until YOu Fall ASleep’

 

Not surprisingly, people do repost this. I have no idea
whether they do it out of fear or because they think it’s funny. It is not.

You know what? I give up. There is no way to stop the world
from acting dumb. Just one thing, if you receive one of those emails or sms,
don’t send to me, even if you have only 5 friends in the entire world and I’m
one of them. Even if you think your life (or sex life for that matter) depends
on it. Don’t, please, I beg you.  Deal?